How I Discovered a Sense of Perspective
It Took a Bigger Screen
So much of my life—and my work—happens at home.
The work of real estate, helping buyers and sellers navigate important decisions.
The work of writing and researching for The Tender Warrior.
And the quiet, necessary rhythm of life—paying bills, scheduling repairs, keeping everything moving forward.
For years, I didn’t give much thought to how I moved through my days. I just did what needed to be done. A laptop on the kitchen counter. A tablet. A phone.
And very small screens.
It didn’t occur to me then that the way I was working…might also shape the way I was experiencing my life.
During caregiving for Lee, I did enough to get things done.
Bills. Taxes. Deposits. Insurance forms.
Nothing creative. Nothing expressive. Just moving from one task to the next. With love.
Looking back, I can see that home became a place of function. Of responsibility. Of care. But not a place where I fully belonged to myself.
Now, on the other side of caregiving, I’m writing again. Thinking again. Spending more time sitting down at my computer. Paying attention in a different way.
And the other day—almost without thinking—I ordered a desktop computer.
A desktop. I wasn’t even sure they still existed. But they do. And when that 27-inch screen lit up, I had an immediate reaction—
Oh.
💡Research shows that home office design significantly impacts productivity by influencing cognitive load, mood, and circadian rhythms.
I can see again. No more squinting. No more compressing everything into a few inches of space. No more trying to manage an entire life through a screen that couldn’t hold it.
Now I can see it all:
My work.
My life.
My writing.
Side by side. With room.
My world expanded, with this small step.
It’s more than just convenience. The larger view has given me something I didn’t realize I was missing—a sense of perspective.
I can see more clearly what I’m doing, where I’m going, who I’m becoming. By expanding the space in front of me, I’ve also expanded the space within me.
This new-found clarity led me to thinking in a holistic way, rather than just focusing on singular tasks at hand. “Zooming out” enabled me to see the interconnections in my life.
This is true in business, and in life:
Research by Psychologist Paul Stillman at Ohio State University shows that looking at the big picture is a way to minimize waste and inefficiencies when making decisions and to maximize net gain for everyone.
“When you create some psychological distance from your decision, you tend to see things more in line with long-term goals, and you can see beyond the immediate considerations of the here and now.”
💡It’s a simple principle of perspective that makes this possible: the farther away you are from something, the smaller it appears.
And of course, it didn’t stop there. Once I could see more clearly, I started looking around the room differently. The sleep sofa that’s been there for twenty years—used once—no longer makes sense.
The placement of the desk. The art. The light. The energy of the space.
I started asking a different question:
Does this space support the life I’m living now—or the life I’ve already lived?
Because home is not just where we get things done. It’s where we return to ourselves. And for a long time, I wasn’t doing that here.
Now I am. Slowly. Deliberately. One decision at a time.
As I’ve written before, I am a work in progress—integrating what was with who I’m becoming.
This office is just one step. An important one.
Belonging to yourself begins with seeing your life more clearly.
Sometimes you just need a bigger screen.
💡Research by neuroscientists shows that effective home design can be time well spent:
Bring in the natural light.
If you have several view options when you position your desk, pick the one with the most visible nature.
Add a couple of green leafy plants. De-clutter! Think Frank Lloyd Wright.
If you have a wooden floor in your office and you’ve covered it with a carpet, roll that carpet back a little, if you can do so safely. Looking at wood grain can also elevate your cognitive performance and creativity.
Open your windows to add some fresh air and movement to your office.
Do what you can to work in a space where visual and audio distractions will be low.
Add a slight odor of lemon to your home office. Studies show that lemon essence increases levels of alertness and enhances task performance. The scent of lavender will help you relax and trust others more (which can be good or bad, depending).
Play a nature soundtrack.
I was a caregiver for my husband with Alzheimer’s. I write about Belonging to Self, Community and Home, both during and after caregiving.
If this would be of value to you to hear more about how I restored my sense of community after 4 years of caregiving, Subscribe to Vicki’s Substack, “The Tender Warrior”